|
|
Friday
I never ever did right when it comes to human beings. I always get misunderstood and i always screw up PR. plus i dun like to be the active party when it comes to making new friends.
Now i pay my price. I always din know why FB doesnt like to talk to me. Well, one is because he's boss and secondly, its coz i'm not pretty. But in fact, there's a third reason to it. By telling carrot everything and discussing things with carrot only, he feels that i've shown disrespect, and by not being direct,he thinks that i'm abusing my privelege to get carrot commanding him. oh man! its so totally wrong. its precisely coz he doesnt communicate with me, so i had to use carrot as our bridge. Well, this is not only happening to FB, little army, who was my only aide was also extremly displease with me. But thank god, i managed to dig this info out of her before things got way out of hand. I knew there are things that i did wrong if not things won't be so unpleasant, but i couldn't fathom why. Now i know part of it, i hope that by correctin this, my life will be better. In addition, i also lack the courage that i need. There are so many things that i shld just open my mouth to ask or to comment and just be direct but i fear trouble will follow if i say the wrong things. So half the time, i worry so much that i'd rather not speak. apparently being dumb isnt the right way too. Got to talk at the right times and got to shut up at the right times...but i dunno when is right for what!SIgh....i shld just be talking to rocks and soils instead of coming here to start a PR business. Freak! i'm so in the wrong trade! I thot that's that. BUt its not. I find HJ weird today. She seems unhappy with something that i've done but i dunno what. why am i stepping on everyone's toes and pissing the whole world? and its god's will that i have to read a story of this successful s'porean whose investment in china is like a money making machine. And from him, he says the biggest mistake most investors make is to place a totally unsuitable candidate to run the business in china. One that cant handle PR and/or one who is impatient. Sounds like me isnt it. Immediately I felt like a deflated balloon. IN addition, dunno issit because i din get enuff sleep. THough i tried to be cheery and everything, i think i've most probably pissed my client off this mornign too. SO much so i don't dare to call her again. Maybe next week. Moreover i was trying to get her help me rope in more students via her network of foreign frens. I cross my fingers and pray damn hard that i did not screw things up!
That's about people. Next come work. When they say guanxi is the key to a successful business here, its no joke. And now, i'm facing trouble finding a suitable pool, finding clients and finding alot of things coz i hardly know anyone here. Hence i have to start being PR queen to hook up more pple and spread the network for this biz to be successful. but i think it's such a mission impossible coz i have no ren yuan at alL! It is aksing me to do something that i suck big time in! Wrong trade wrong trade....its just totally wrong! I'm so wrong in the wrong place wrong time wrong trade wrong everything. but i die die must hang on still...
sigh..work sucks!
8/08/2003|0comments [speak] 