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Sunday
Hey there!Thanks clueless, thanks fang, thanks xf, thanks a whole lot! I think i was just emotionally unstable when i wrote the previous post. just needed to vent it out so that i can cool off and rationalise things.
I did not go out over the weekend. Spent some quality time in solitude, did some soul search and pondered about things and I think i've regained my bearings and am on my feet once more.
My mistakes:
1. Being thrown here without any mental preps about the lack of preps on the company's part. i.e. i came thinking that the fundamental preps are done but good griefs, the computers weren't even uP!
2. Only given 3 weeks to understand the whole working of a company and to run it. oh man! give me a break! I just left schooL!wat do i know of working esp working in china when i never read a single thing about china before!( and cant speak mandarin properly)
3. Being too trusting. I should not tell some one about my woes here coz she cares too much and goes ard telling bosses at home thus causing me alot of trouble. And trusing R too much to leave it to him to relay messages.
Solutions:
1. Stop thinking about making money and get the fundamentals up first
2. Plan the things that i have to do, ask ard if its feasible and then just go out and whack!Cant wait for connections to come to me, cant sit ard and wait. Even though its treacherous , i'll still have to brave the journey and hopefully get past it with a little luck.
3. I'm not telling her anymore things. and R is not going to be my mouth anymore. i'd rather offend Fat boss myself instead of offending him thru R.
I know i'm here to learn but some mistakes can be too grave and i cant afford it coz i'm not here on an exchange. My 'ricebowl' depends on the fate of this company! so i know i have to learn from mistakes but i can afford too much of it.sigh... dilemmas dilemmas and more dilemmas. But as I say, such problems exists everywhere, even if i'm in s'pore, which company doesnt have company politics and which person is happy and acceptable by everyone in the same company. Problems at work are universal, but maybe coz i'm overseas alone, i can feel it more acutely.I can bo chup if i'm in s'pore coz i've other people to depend on, but here, i cant just shrug it off. I have to be brave and face it. That's exactly what i came here for. TO train to be strong and brave, to be versatile and sensitive. I want to learn everything about the working life in 2 years and be an expert. I want to gain 10 years or even 20 years of working experience when i have only worked for 2years. I'm getting there coz though i'm in china for only a month, i've learnt things that pple might have used several months to experience. So i'm one lucky fella with a rare opportunity.
Some one once said, being in s'pore is like in a garden where is protected and regulated with little risks, but china is like a plain, exposed to all sort of factors and risks. But once i can gallop in the plains like a horse, i can be the king of the garden.
8/10/2003|0comments [speak] 