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Thursday
I think Woody Allen is a real genius! Spent time between classes today to catch one of his more serious show "Another woman". Unlike his 'comedy', like Annie Hall, this was more heavy going, with a 50yr old woman going through a journey of self discovery and acceptance. In my opinion, Allen is a very skeptical person with a pretty dark worldview and its precisely this skepticism that motivates his films which explores the aspects of life that people choose to conveniently forget. In this show, I love the way he vocalises Marion's (the lead) suppressed feelings through the muted voice of a pshychiatric patient who speaks of her own insecurities and her problems. About feelings that Marion has learnt to rationalise or disown, which makes her incapable of connecting her surroundings, especially with people close to her. Like most stories, its a happy ending with Marion recognising her deficiencies and attempts to salvage what is left of her life.
I think most people will be able to relate to Marion's character very well. Actually, I ever once brought up this subject to my mom but as usual, I was brushed away very quickly. Being the by product of Singapore's kiasu syndrome, my world revolved around the notion of "success". For example, character building was centered around excellence. E.g: be Hardworking so that you can get good grades and good grades guarantees success in your career, be Courteous because your superiors will like you better and it'll help you scale the coporate ladder and so on so forth. But in the frenzy chase for what i think is more appropriately termed as material recognition, I feel myself getting lost. There are so many times that I cannot recognise myself , I lose touch with my inner feelings of who am I, what am I. (But again who "i" am is constantly changing so even if I know myself now, i might change and not recognise it the next minute...just a digression). Maybe its this fear of not knowing that makes me daydream all day to stocktake my life, to ensure that I do not lose sight of where I am heading. Marion did hers at 50, but I think the earlier done, the better. It'll leave less regrets and leave less broken hearts around you. Oh and of course, its take things like failing exams and failing driving tests to give the needed jolt from complacency and make me think about all these stuff again. Now you know why I can recover so fast? Its all in knowing and accepting yourself, all the good and bad about yourself!
On a side note, the SARs things is getting big, so please take care of yourselves. I cross my fingers that none of you will receive an early recall from someone up there who might need company.
4/03/2003|0comments [speak] 