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Friday
Kok Kiang, another friend who just left for SEP in UCLA and for that, he started a blog too. I'm recommending his site especially for his well taken pictures, with some shots that i thought were quite artistic. Other than that,his site is still quite naked.
Anyway, its been almost five days since i last drop in. I suppose its a sign that there isnt much happening in my life, which is pretty much the case. School's just the way it used to be, except that I no longer hang out in the library with my study gang. Not that I don't need to study but I do not feel motivated with them, rather I feel stifled. I might be in one of those mood swings(which i hope so) or perhaps I'm getting less interested in their antics. But more likely its the stress that i feel when i'm with them.( if anyone of you happens to read this, don't bother telling me that you are as worse off as me, it's not consolation but more pressure. Thank you!)
Oh dear, what am i rambling? Ah, ok, i admit, life is bad for me. Things are fucked up at work. I get calls from the office everyday coz of parent's complains and other irritating adminstrative stuff. I'm getting annoyed and frankly speaking, I do not want to give a damn. But i cant. For the sake of money, i've to grit my teeth and just hang in there. Actually things might not be as bad as I perceive but I'm getting a little uptight and lost that i cant control my emotions. Do you call this depression? Oh well.
I guess my horoscope prediction for the day is right. It says i need solitude but I am not entittled to it.I know i need to see my supervisor, i jolly well know that the thesis deadline is pressing but I need time to do all these.I can avoid school. Rather i've been avoiding school but i cant avoid my work. Talking about which, I have to face it tomorrow again. Coaching has never been such a chore but it is now. Its slowly gnawing at me, wearing me down day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minutes.
I don't like the present me.
1/10/2003|0comments [speak] 