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Wednesday
Something for my to 2special friends: i will do whatever i can to push u out of ur comfort zones. i know the fear and the uncertainties that lies beyond. i also know that u two are not happy in ur comfort zones ( ask urself TRUTHFULLY). so why torture urself? u still see the glow of love so dun lose sight of it.
"Forget regret or life is urs to miss"(Rent,2000)
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!!!!caution: the following entry is going to be wimpy and whiney so dun read if u cant stand me wallowing in self pity. its quite a put off i must agree.
Never have i been so lost and so emotionally unstable. never did i expect myself to be so affected by the game of love. WTF!!!!!(pardon me) was i blind? was i deaf? or was i just plain dumb? well, maybe i was too comfortable in my comfort zone to be able to feel. maybe i was jaded. in any case, i feel like an ostrich that saw something coming and starting buryin my head in the ground, not knowing wat was in stored for me. now that someone forcefully pull my head out do i see for the first time what i actually missed. goodness me! missing one is bad, i missed it twice.
i'm now at a crossroad. to seek refuge within my walls of defence or to learn from experience. i suppose the former appeals to me more. the struggle within me never cease. to hide or to face it?how to face it? am i strong enuff to face it? i cant answer these questions. i just know that while the fight goes on, i'm slipping deeper into the arms of delusion, of escapism, of fear....back into my fortress.no, i cant face it. i cant face myself either. but i know life has to go on and i will make sure it does for me.
"will i lose my dignity? will someone care? will i wake tomorrow from this nightmare?"( Rent,2000)
12/19/2001|0comments [speak] 